Tossing and turning in bed last night, coughing my lungs inside-out, for lack of anything better to do, I decide to contemplate human anatomy.

On the subject of mammalian reproductive organs:

They're obsurd! Disgusting! Not to mention terribly uncormfortable. I mean, honestly, we could have these little patches on our crotches, when we want to make children, we simplyt rub them together, just like worms! And to boot, we take out the nerve endings there so there isn't any pleasure in doing it for fun. We humans spend far to much time screwing and masturbating when we could be doing something productive, like killing off other species- What? What's that you say? We already do that without trying? Well, I think we could put a little more effort into it! Anyway, humans already have to many bodily protrusions and holes seeing as we seem to have developed a fetish for putting more in ourselves than what evolution(Or God, for all you evangelicals,) intended.